Deadlines

I WANT TO DO SO MUCH AND I FEEL LIKE IM ON SUCH A TIME CRUNCH!

being grown up isnt half as fun as growing up.
so give me my damn time back and let me live. fccck

independence now, co-dependence later.

i owe it to my parents, my loved ones, and especially myself to make sure I do me right before I try to convince someone i'm right for them. Some people find fulfillment through another person's approval, but its necessary to keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with being selfish. You had a life before them, you should make sure you prepare yourself for a life after them. so before i go and break down my guard.. I want to do everything i've always wanted to do, become all that i can be, and create the perfect me.

nothing should bring you down except gravity.

so to my future bf/husband -- i love you, but i'll always love myself more. you can support me, but i'll always be able to stand on my own two feet.

want vs. need

How silly of me to agree on the saying "You want what you cant have" however by default its that competitive nature that has developed through my years of sports, sibling rivalry, school, work, etc that has me feeling a bit intrigued to follow through on these wants. Could it just possibly be that its obvious I would want something I can't have because of the challenge it posses or the fact that if I did have it, I wouldn't have a reason to want it?

Society has taken for granted what they have and are given. Individuals lose site of the simple things that make life grand and instead long for something bigger, better, prettier, etc.. but, there's nothing wrong with that -- thats what has contributed to modernization, the ability to make things bigger, better, prettier, faster, etc. The cycle of life has us wanting way more than we need.

future.

last thursday i spent three hours with one of my students helping her on math. now this girl is one of the most brightest, witty, 6th graders i have ever met... so how is it possible that she does NOT even know how to do multiplication or division? 11x11 does not equal 11.

OUR future rest in the hands of these children, what do we as society have to show for it, when a 6th grader can not even do 3rd grade math?

we honestly need to focus on EDUCATION and stop with the other unnecessary funding. we need to open our hearts more and stop spending on DUMB shit that does not benefit the extension of life.

one reason

I sometimes wonder if its the monster that comes once a month that gets me overly analytical, emotional, and way too critical of myself or a place of blame to excuse my actions and thoughts of life. Maybe the reality is i'm constantly battling these circumstances I just refuse to let it empower me. I trick myself into thinking this is what life is all about and I have choosen the path. But the monster comes back and plays devils advocate and forces me to face these issues...what am i really doing? Where am i heading to? What do i really want to do/be?

And this is one reason why I love being a girl. The monster has yet again contributed to my progression towards self growth and positive change. Maybe its not a monster afterall but that much needed break to refocus and recollect myself.. sometimes we get so caught up with the daily that we forget what we have all sought to fight for.

Self worth.

New Year

Survival of the fittest. sad to say, thats the reality of the fact. I have intentions of being selfless but the truth is -- I can only offer so much before I start thinking about my own well-being.